Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days of auld lang syne?
And days of auld lang syne, my dear,
And days of auld lang syne.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days of auld lang syne?
We twa hae run aboot the braes
And pu'd the gowans fine.
We've wandered mony a weary foot,
Sin' auld lang syne.
Sin' auld lang syne, my dear,
Sin' auld lang syne,
We've wandered mony a weary foot,
Sin' auld lang syne.
We twa hae sported i' the burn,
From morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roared
Sin' auld lang syne.
Sin' auld lang syne, my dear,
Sin' auld lang syne.
But seas between us braid hae roared
Sin' auld lang syne.
And ther's a hand, my trusty friend,
And gie's a hand o' thine;
We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
Thursday, 31 December 2009
Thursday, 24 December 2009
Wednesday, 11 November 2009
Saturday, 7 November 2009
Wisdom from the All Blacks
To mark the start of the All Blacks' UK tour here are some examples from New Zealand that destroy the myth that rugby players are more intelligent than footballers.
"Nobody in Rugby should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." - (Jono Gibbs - Chiefs)
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." - (Rodney So'ialo - Hurricanes) on University
"You guys line up alphabetically by height." and "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle." - (Colin Cooper - Hurricanes head coach)
Chris Masoe (Hurricanes) on whether he had visited the Pyramids during his visit to Egypt : "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is." - Colin Cooper on Paul Tito
Kevin Senio (Auckland), on Night Rugby vs Day Games "It's basically the same, just darker."
David Nucifora (Auckland) talking about Troy Flavell "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'David, I don't know and I don't care.'
David Holwell (Hurricanes) when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to reach for 150 or 200 points this season, whichever comes first."
"Andy Ellis - the 21 year old, who turned 22 a few weeks ago" (Murray Mexted)
"Colin has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator." (Ma'a Nonu)
"He scored that try after only 22 seconds - totally against the run of play." ( Murray Mexted)
"We actually got the winning try three minutes from the end but then they scored." (Phil Waugh-Waratahs)
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
(Jerry Collins)
"That kick was absolutely unique, except for the one before it which was identical." (Tony Brown)
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." (Tana Umaga)
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in rugby - but none of them serious." (Doc Mayhew)
"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." (Anton Oliver)
"I would not say he (Rico Gear) is the best left winger in the Super 14, but there are none better." (Murray Mexted)
"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat." (Ewan McKenzie)
Murray Deaker: "Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?" Tana Umaga: "On what?"
"Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw." (Murray Mexted)
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." (Murray Mexted)
"Nobody in Rugby should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." - (Jono Gibbs - Chiefs)
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." - (Rodney So'ialo - Hurricanes) on University
"You guys line up alphabetically by height." and "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle." - (Colin Cooper - Hurricanes head coach)
Chris Masoe (Hurricanes) on whether he had visited the Pyramids during his visit to Egypt : "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is." - Colin Cooper on Paul Tito
Kevin Senio (Auckland), on Night Rugby vs Day Games "It's basically the same, just darker."
David Nucifora (Auckland) talking about Troy Flavell "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'David, I don't know and I don't care.'
David Holwell (Hurricanes) when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to reach for 150 or 200 points this season, whichever comes first."
"Andy Ellis - the 21 year old, who turned 22 a few weeks ago" (Murray Mexted)
"Colin has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator." (Ma'a Nonu)
"He scored that try after only 22 seconds - totally against the run of play." ( Murray Mexted)
"We actually got the winning try three minutes from the end but then they scored." (Phil Waugh-Waratahs)
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
(Jerry Collins)
"That kick was absolutely unique, except for the one before it which was identical." (Tony Brown)
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." (Tana Umaga)
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in rugby - but none of them serious." (Doc Mayhew)
"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." (Anton Oliver)
"I would not say he (Rico Gear) is the best left winger in the Super 14, but there are none better." (Murray Mexted)
"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat." (Ewan McKenzie)
Murray Deaker: "Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?" Tana Umaga: "On what?"
"Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw." (Murray Mexted)
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." (Murray Mexted)
Monday, 2 November 2009
A great piece of music
Finding Beauty, a great piece of music by the Scottish composer Craig Armstrong.
Saturday, 19 September 2009
Thursday, 17 September 2009
Wednesday, 16 September 2009
Wednesday, 5 August 2009
Thursday, 30 July 2009
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
Tuesday, 28 July 2009
Monday, 27 July 2009
Saturday, 25 July 2009
Tuesday, 21 July 2009
Hospital charts
These are actual writings from various hospital charts.
1. The patient refused an autopsy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
4. She has no rigours or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
6. On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
12. She is numb from her toes down.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated, and sent home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
14. The skin was moist and dry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
15 Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
22.. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
24. The pelvis exam will be done later on the floor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
1. The patient refused an autopsy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
4. She has no rigours or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
6. On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
12. She is numb from her toes down.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated, and sent home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
14. The skin was moist and dry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
15 Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
22.. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
24. The pelvis exam will be done later on the floor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
Monday, 20 July 2009
Sunday, 19 July 2009
Sunday, 21 June 2009
Monday, 18 May 2009
Edinburgh Marathon - 31 May 2009
I'd be very grateful if you would consider sponsoring one of my Scottish chums, Gordon Kidd, who'll be running in this year's Edinburgh Marathon in aid of the RNLI (Royal National Lifeboat Institution). Many thanks.
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
The Spider and the Fly (by Mary Howitt)
"Will you walk into my parlour?" said the Spider to the Fly,
"'Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I've a many curious things to shew when you are there."
"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair can ne'er come down again."
"I'm sure you must be weary, dear, with soaring up so high;
Will you rest upon my little bed?" said the Spider to the Fly.
"There are pretty curtains drawn around; the sheets are fine and thin,
And if you like to rest awhile, I'll snugly tuck you in!"
"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "for I've often heard it said,
They never, never wake again, who sleep upon your bed!"
Said the cunning Spider to the Fly, "Dear friend what can I do,
To prove the warm affection I 've always felt for you?
I have within my pantry, good store of all that's nice;
I'm sure you're very welcome, will you please to take a slice?"
"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "kind Sir, that cannot be,
I've heard what's in your pantry, and I do not wish to see!"
"Sweet creature!" said the Spider, "you're witty and you're wise,
How handsome are your gauzy wings, how brilliant are your eyes!
I've a little looking-glass upon my parlour shelf,
If you'll step in one moment, dear, you shall behold yourself."
"I thank you, gentle sir," she said, "for what you 're pleased to say,
And bidding you good morning now, I'll call another day."
The Spider turned him round about, and went into his den,
For well he knew the silly Fly would soon come back again:
So he wove a subtle web, in a little corner sly,
And set his table ready, to dine upon the Fly.
Then he came out to his door again, and merrily did sing,
"Come hither, hither, pretty Fly, with the pearl and silver wing;
Your robes are green and purple, there's a crest upon your head;
Your eyes are like the diamond bright, but mine are dull as lead!"
Alas, alas! how very soon this silly little Fly,
Hearing his wily, flattering words, came slowly flitting by;
With buzzing wings she hung aloft, then near and nearer drew,
Thinking only of her brilliant eyes, and green and purple hue,
Thinking only of her crested head, poor foolish thing! At last,
Up jumped the cunning Spider, and fiercely held her fast.
He dragged her up his winding stair, into his dismal den,
Within his little parlour, but she ne'er came out again!
And now dear little children, who may this story read,
To idle, silly flattering words, I pray you ne'er give heed:
Unto an evil counsellor, close heart and ear and eye,
And take a lesson from this tale, of the Spider and the Fly.
"'Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I've a many curious things to shew when you are there."
"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair can ne'er come down again."
"I'm sure you must be weary, dear, with soaring up so high;
Will you rest upon my little bed?" said the Spider to the Fly.
"There are pretty curtains drawn around; the sheets are fine and thin,
And if you like to rest awhile, I'll snugly tuck you in!"
"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "for I've often heard it said,
They never, never wake again, who sleep upon your bed!"
Said the cunning Spider to the Fly, "Dear friend what can I do,
To prove the warm affection I 've always felt for you?
I have within my pantry, good store of all that's nice;
I'm sure you're very welcome, will you please to take a slice?"
"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "kind Sir, that cannot be,
I've heard what's in your pantry, and I do not wish to see!"
"Sweet creature!" said the Spider, "you're witty and you're wise,
How handsome are your gauzy wings, how brilliant are your eyes!
I've a little looking-glass upon my parlour shelf,
If you'll step in one moment, dear, you shall behold yourself."
"I thank you, gentle sir," she said, "for what you 're pleased to say,
And bidding you good morning now, I'll call another day."
The Spider turned him round about, and went into his den,
For well he knew the silly Fly would soon come back again:
So he wove a subtle web, in a little corner sly,
And set his table ready, to dine upon the Fly.
Then he came out to his door again, and merrily did sing,
"Come hither, hither, pretty Fly, with the pearl and silver wing;
Your robes are green and purple, there's a crest upon your head;
Your eyes are like the diamond bright, but mine are dull as lead!"
Alas, alas! how very soon this silly little Fly,
Hearing his wily, flattering words, came slowly flitting by;
With buzzing wings she hung aloft, then near and nearer drew,
Thinking only of her brilliant eyes, and green and purple hue,
Thinking only of her crested head, poor foolish thing! At last,
Up jumped the cunning Spider, and fiercely held her fast.
He dragged her up his winding stair, into his dismal den,
Within his little parlour, but she ne'er came out again!
And now dear little children, who may this story read,
To idle, silly flattering words, I pray you ne'er give heed:
Unto an evil counsellor, close heart and ear and eye,
And take a lesson from this tale, of the Spider and the Fly.
Sunday, 10 May 2009
Thursday, 16 April 2009
Stick Man Animation
Check this out:
http://fc01.deviantart.com/fs13/f/2007/077/2/e/Animator_vs__Animation_by_alanbecker.swf
http://fc01.deviantart.com/fs13/f/2007/077/2/e/Animator_vs__Animation_by_alanbecker.swf
Sunday, 12 April 2009
Spot the odd one out...
Lord Stevenson, former chairman, HBOS Bank
Andy Hornby, former CEO, HBOS Bank
Sir Fred Goodwin, former CEO, RBS Bank
Sir Tom McKillup, former chairman, RBS Bank
John McFall MP, chairman, Treasury Select Committee
Alistair Darling, Chancellor of the Exchequer
Sir Terry Wogan, presenter of the BBC Radio 2 Breakfast Show
It's Terry Wogan, the only one with a banking qualification.
Andy Hornby, former CEO, HBOS Bank
Sir Fred Goodwin, former CEO, RBS Bank
Sir Tom McKillup, former chairman, RBS Bank
John McFall MP, chairman, Treasury Select Committee
Alistair Darling, Chancellor of the Exchequer
Sir Terry Wogan, presenter of the BBC Radio 2 Breakfast Show
It's Terry Wogan, the only one with a banking qualification.
Tuesday, 7 April 2009
London Marathon - 26 April
I'd be very grateful if you would consider sponsoring one of my Scottish chums, Jamie Murray, who'll be running in this year's London Marathon in aid of Barnado's. Many thanks.
Sunday, 29 March 2009
Wednesday, 25 March 2009
ASDA labelling
A couple of errors recently spotted on a pack of chicken fillets
(cornflour, approximately):
(cornflour, approximately):
Friday, 20 March 2009
A few lines...
And so the saga of the Edinburgh Tram Project continues... with potential legal action (tracks-suit?!) if the current impasse with the construction company isn't resolved. Let's hope it's not too much longer before work can resume and the current disruption to Edinburgh residents and visitors ends. (Hope you like the picture - it harks back to the 1950s when the previous tracks were removed!)
Tuesday, 24 February 2009
Sunday, 22 February 2009
Australia in mourning
Australia is observing a day of mourning for the victims of bushfires which swept across the state of Victoria earlier this month, claiming more than 200 lives.
Friday, 20 February 2009
Cadbury's advert - Spoof
Here's the link for the spoof of Cadbury's freaky eyebrows advert, courtesy of Lily Allen, Alan Carr and Justin Lee Collins (as seen recently on the Sunday Night Project):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWEOHd9JNmk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWEOHd9JNmk
Fires in Australia
I think we've all been horrified by the loss of life in Australia as a result of the recent fires. Some communities have been totally destroyed. Absolutely dreadful. Let's hope that for any fires that were started deliberately, the culprits are brought to justice.
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