Holding the sun

Dancing in the aisles...

Hospital charts

These are actual writings from various hospital charts.

1. The patient refused an autopsy.
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2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
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3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
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4. She has no rigours or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
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5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
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6. On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
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7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
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8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
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9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
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10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
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11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
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12. She is numb from her toes down.
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13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated, and sent home.
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14. The skin was moist and dry.
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15 Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
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16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
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17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
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18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
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19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
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20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
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21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
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22.. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
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23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
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24. The pelvis exam will be done later on the floor.
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25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

40th anniversary of Man on the Moon

Those funny Belgians...

The longest day

From today, days will start to get shorter... winter is approaching!!

Edinburgh Marathon - 31 May 2009

I'd be very grateful if you would consider sponsoring one of my Scottish chums, Gordon Kidd, who'll be running in this year's Edinburgh Marathon in aid of the RNLI (Royal National Lifeboat Institution). Many thanks.

Necessary sign

The Spider and the Fly (by Mary Howitt)

"Will you walk into my parlour?" said the Spider to the Fly,
"'Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I've a many curious things to shew when you are there."
"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair can ne'er come down again."

"I'm sure you must be weary, dear, with soaring up so high;
Will you rest upon my little bed?" said the Spider to the Fly.
"There are pretty curtains drawn around; the sheets are fine and thin,
And if you like to rest awhile, I'll snugly tuck you in!"
"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "for I've often heard it said,
They never, never wake again, who sleep upon your bed!"

Said the cunning Spider to the Fly, "Dear friend what can I do,
To prove the warm affection I 've always felt for you?
I have within my pantry, good store of all that's nice;
I'm sure you're very welcome, will you please to take a slice?"
"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "kind Sir, that cannot be,
I've heard what's in your pantry, and I do not wish to see!"

"Sweet creature!" said the Spider, "you're witty and you're wise,
How handsome are your gauzy wings, how brilliant are your eyes!
I've a little looking-glass upon my parlour shelf,
If you'll step in one moment, dear, you shall behold yourself."
"I thank you, gentle sir," she said, "for what you 're pleased to say,
And bidding you good morning now, I'll call another day."

The Spider turned him round about, and went into his den,
For well he knew the silly Fly would soon come back again:
So he wove a subtle web, in a little corner sly,
And set his table ready, to dine upon the Fly.

Then he came out to his door again, and merrily did sing,
"Come hither, hither, pretty Fly, with the pearl and silver wing;
Your robes are green and purple, there's a crest upon your head;
Your eyes are like the diamond bright, but mine are dull as lead!"

Alas, alas! how very soon this silly little Fly,
Hearing his wily, flattering words, came slowly flitting by;
With buzzing wings she hung aloft, then near and nearer drew,
Thinking only of her brilliant eyes, and green and purple hue,

Thinking only of her crested head, poor foolish thing! At last,
Up jumped the cunning Spider, and fiercely held her fast.
He dragged her up his winding stair, into his dismal den,
Within his little parlour, but she ne'er came out again!

And now dear little children, who may this story read,
To idle, silly flattering words, I pray you ne'er give heed:
Unto an evil counsellor, close heart and ear and eye,
And take a lesson from this tale, of the Spider and the Fly.

Catch it. Bin it. Kill it.